Just Breathe

This morning I woke up and I was stressed. Kim wanted me to go to Belfast with him to do some work with the midwives and go to the farmers marker as well. I declined because my energy isn't what it used to be and I have a hard closing shift this evening. I thought about how much I hate only being able to work and sleep. Working at the Read tires me out so much! And my maternity leave can't come quick enough (if it even comes at all).

Then, I started to stress about dishes and the state of the apartment (which is constantly a sty in my eyes). I did a load of dishes, took out the compost and the trash (er, got Kim to) and then decided to go to the Read for some coffee (and perhaps catch up with some friends that may have wondered in).

On the way, I started to stress about money. And started to wonder when I'm going to be able to take maternity and (in my eyes) finally be able to nest, gestate and prepare for #2. "Will I be able to take it when I want to?" That will be next month and it doesn't look like it, and in my eyes, it seemed as if I'm going to be working until my water brakes.

So, I was sitting at the Read and mulling things over in my head with a nice cup of coffee in my hand. I ran into some parents of my neighbor's boyfriend. They're good friend's with Kim's family, lovely and sweet people whom are helping up build a garden. When I talked to them, they told me that my neighbor's boyfriend tried to commit suicide last night. His mom told me that, holding back tears. Today is his 24th birthday. He's alright, thankfully.

Suddenly, my problems didn't seem so important. I still have a sink full of dishes, clothes to be put away and god only knows how many dust bunnies need to be slaughtered. But you know what? Right now, all I want to do is sit and breathe. Sometimes you forget how precious life is.